Everything and Nothing, family, Fashion outrage, Scattered Thoughts

Nothing…

Sometimes is good to write about nothing…

Loads of things had happen since my last post. Mainly to do with family, now trying to arrive to the other side of the drama and put a bow on it.

Although very happy to have move to our own place (renting, but still own place without other people but my husband and 2 children), guilty that I can not  care for people who I love. well enough of this nonsense, I already emotionally drain.

Lately to escape going on and on about one topic, I have started to observe people, not that I don’t do it all the time but I’m spending extra minutes thinking i the superfluous things that concerns(or maybe not) that individual. Such as the clothe combination they wear.

This one puzzle me the other day, someone that try to emulate Tom Cruises style of jeans( not flare or straight enough )and Cuban shoes, sadly this shoes were a cross between a Chelsea boot and the style mention above, of course the trouser were high waist and light blue. , I gather you get the picture is like men who wear suits or chinos they don’t really know how to wear denim. They buy them short or they use the belt at the wrong height… What ever it was wrong.

 

 

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Everything and Nothing, family, feelings, Lyme disease, Scattered Thoughts, Sister in law

What madness…

I might be a little paranoid and full of issues but this is what is happening to me right now…

I’m fuming…

My sister in law has been messing with me and my family again and my father in law has disappointed me greatly. This time I try to stay out of the picture so confrontation was avoided . As this wasn’t convenient for my SIL ,she decided to target my daughter.  To all of this my father in law made my daughter feel guilty for something she said whilst angry. My girl is only 9 .

I know it doesn’t help that I’m living with my in laws due to illness on their part (lyme disease).

I’m all to support my husband and his mother in this difficult journey. What I’m not cool with is seeing adult people damaging me and least of all my family (husband and 2 kids).

I know that part of Lyme is the inflammation in certain parts of the brain which makes you have extreme rage reactions. I can deal and understand and even allowed such outbursts as a symptom of an illness, but sadly the rejection  and malicious passive aggressive comments are not part of this disease. My husband is being  fantastic  trying to emotionally support our family and his parents.

Nevertheless this doesn’t stop my father in law from showing  his constant  discomfort  with our presence. ..

My husband and I chosen to look after them, we new that it wouldn’t be easy but we were trying to cope with the changes until once again his sister decided to alter the status quo.

A bit of background in my non existing relationship with my SIL.

Basically  she got married and went to leave abroad and since then she led me to think that she feels that I want to fill her space. I had in the past distant my self from her parents so she doesn’t had this sensation towards me. Sadly it was taken as lack of care or interest.

Then the children  came  along to both of our lives. (Please may I point out I do not obsess “all the time ” about her)only when she tries to put me  or someone I love down . Because  only her feelings are valid…

Well coming back to the bitterness that she feel against my kids,my husband and I  for living closer to her parents. And how  many things the grandparents are doing with my children  rather than hers. Ok grandparents  came and visit often but that’s all not many bonding or fantastic outings were done. I don’t care… my kids love their grandparents  just for being their grandparents  not for the things they give them or do with them. My SIL doesn’t see it that way.

When her daughters  are with my kids everything is fine till she pulls them away from spending time with them and ditch my kids at her first opportunity.

Of course my kids have to be there ready to play  if she thinks it suit her. In many occasions we had to cancel  play dates or postpone already made plans only to discover  that she decided to take only her children for tea without  inviting mine.All of this is done in front of the children.  If you  do it once ok. But when you break my kids hearts several times …you will not be in my good list.

It is so frustrating  because  yes I have a problem with her making me feel so bad just for being about. She is so resentful of me just because I’m me. She made a  choice of going somewhere else to live and not be here. I’m not saying that is as simple as that… I’m come from abroad too… and is hard as there is a lots of feelings of abandonment, guilt and blah blah and if you suffer from depression is even worse. We also have the ability of changing our decisions though so if you’re not happy with your life go ahead and do something about it.

I do not hope to have a relationship with her , she made it clear that my efforts are in vain, I’m just  want this stupidity to end. I have loads of other things and people to worry and love and this is hindering my ability to do so. Sorry for the typos

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Uncategorized

And here I am in this beautiful place…

This last twelve months  were not my best ones. Today though I am  in a beautiful place ( literally) I was here 4 years ago and I had the same  great fuzzy sensation in in my being.

I’m  here with my best people and it is lovely. For a minute or two  I can forget and forgive this year that was mostly quite  painful.

In between  willow trees,lakes and swans I feel full of me and love.

 

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Everything and Nothing, Scattered Thoughts

The unwelcome glare

This is mainly for the ladies. We all have done it and it is not out of envy I hope…

The looking at a person with such intensity that it is taken as an evil stare, whether is about clothes , looks or activity performed by our counterparts.

Is that sentiment that is so strong that comes from the core of our stomach until it reach our eyes, we accommodate our heads so the laser beams come out to the best angle.

The receiver could be unaware ,good for them, or aware  which it come become a glare war or a obliteration.

Poor innocent soul, we subject them to a dress down  in front of an audience. I am not sure what we do it , maybe is the wishful thinking that that person could be us? at some point.

The bottom line is that is a very horrible thing to do to someone and this show how crappy we are even with frivolities.

 

 

 

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Uncategorized

Silence is not ignorance

Even though one could be portrait as talkative being. We sometimes take time to be silent.
Sadly humans think silence is a weaknes or they are not brave enough to bare it.
I had in the past fear  it and think there is some solitud within it (this is true). I also have found  peace in it and most of all reflextion and understanding.
Silence is not emptied of sound for me, it means take your time to listen , observe and regroup then take action.
What  I have come across  lately is that we are in a society where we have to voice our opinion  costantly, to show  your knowledge. There are no so many  new ideas to come up with and stones unturn.
I’m not Checov, I just understand  silence  It is full  of emotions and respect and it isn’t a sign of ignorance  or not caring.

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Everything and Nothing, Scattered Thoughts

Ladies first! maybe not!

Everyone hates the journey to work in public transport. At least I haven’t come across someone that is looking forward to travel to work every morning.

I’m all for live and let live and respect each other. This does not mean that I will not get irritated with the non moving average male (25 to 50) either  be the train or tube, They are just terrible they find their space and they don’t shaft  is like they get a block of cement in each foot.

I’m not asking them to be gentlemen because I know they didn’t have the opportunity of being educated properly in this mere matters of life.or when that bit came about they simple didn’t listen because by then they thought they knew how to behave in public.

So please guys! Just move an inch or two and give the pregnant /old lady your precious little seat. I promise will not hurt and while you are at it remember Ladies first!!!!!!

 

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Everything and Nothing, Scattered Thoughts

Is this true? Or I’m just gullible

I know most of the stories about body transformation on the info web aren’t real… but what strike me the most is where do people find time to do this things are they so self obsessed that they stop doing or spending time on the normal things  and they invest their whole life to improve their bodies.

Yes I can discipline myself to do a regime,but this only takes one hour of my day… I have a family and a job which they required  more of my  attention than to get the last fad.

I don’t have a great body and I like to be a 1.5 stone lighter… ,  this does not hinder me in any way except for the wishing and sometimes looking(a good portion of my browsing) for the miracle pill or herb to reduce my weight on the marvelous internet which of course it is fills with millions of success stories from people who they had modified  their bodies.

I do not want to take anything away from them if their weight loss and life transformation happens to be true, their achievements and the inspiration they give others. But some of them they are unrealistic almost asking you to give up the rest of the world which surround you. and only to achieved optimal weight.than more often than not will revert or change again as we are a constant change.

It is a business and great that companies and people can profit from it, my only thought are where do humans will find the time to be so self center and neglect the day to day things.

If all this weight stories are true it saddens me to realize that we are a punch of Idiots who are punting the priorities of life in the wrong places. People love other people for who they are not how they look (at least some of us).

You do need to look good and look after yourself but at the same time losing touch with reality is not that cool and is very selfish too.

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